The Mobile Veil

“I am so hungover.
The throbbing, angry punishment in my skull for all that tasty, tasty tequila and great wastage of money, fittingly matched the growing ache in my ‘art.”

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Thorned Roses & Melted Chocolates

“As time went on, and as my wonderful manager, Lloyd, is not always around to overhear someone calling me beautiful and sarcastically interject with, “Oh, Iola never gets that AT ALLLL”, I’ve come up with some pretty decent approaches:
“I’m gay.”
“The hot waitress is off today. Wait for her. She’ll be here tomorrow.”
“I’m not allowed to prey on my customers, sorry.”
“I’m not gay.”
If they laugh, maybe you’ll get a tip. If they don’t, well, let’s hope their table leaves soon and you get a ten-seater with rich nuns with a penchant for alcohol, but Jesus is still bae. “

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Rule #1 of Atheist Club

“I’m not gonna lie to you, I’m gonna lie.
I was the perfect child growing up.
Honesty is a virtue.
In my many phases, I attracted a fair amount of negative attention.
Actually, it was more like a year-long, annual monsoon.
First, I was an outspoken atheist.
Like most atheists at begin, I was arrogant, narcissistic and pompous.
YOU ARE ALL STUPID FOR BELIEVING IN GOD AND I AM SUPERIOR AND ENLIGHTENED”

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